too much! /ramblecore

my trunk is full of turquoise and pink and ripped up paper bags
my roller skates crash against the trunk walls as i turn
apologize, explain how we explained how santa is a spirit who may arrive as nothing 
or as a big shiny bulging box with bows on bows
or as a strange woman in goodwill she sees you and knows from your haircut
that santa won’t be finding you so gives you a hundred dollars each to buy whatever
which means popcorn bag figurines with legs and feet that you don’t want to take out
of the packaging because then the popcorn man loses minute value 
tomorrow there is a board meeting with the heir of oscar meyer who gave all of his money to nuns
and the head of the energy commission of california and a gentleman doctor
who survived genocide and homelessness and is called upon to tell just how
over bites of bloody lamb and steaming bread
today i will talk to C who darts her eyes like i do and only softens her mind when stoned
and then J who lives close with child and yesterday other J who is feeling willing to try 
and also open to substance which also means to being poisoned and all the honesty
that comes with not being able to hold anything down
poems and songs trash and paint and reflection exercises and where should i go 
to observe people’s armoring bands i am now scared of most places until i’m at or in them? 
i want to give olivia shopping barbie i know she will love the tiny bottle of tide
i went to make soup with depth i want to touch the glow of time and feel myself 
precious in the pastel softness even if encircled in so much
detritus, the inevitable nest