scorpio season

The simple pleasure of I push you go

(My legs to the bike)

I’m beginning not to love you

Turn around and see me running 

That’s before I arrive at the school

Sweaty and with helmet marks on my forehead 

The kids enter my classroom

The sweat is only barely cold on my back

A cast of salt curing 

Stiff for the rest of the day 

Turns out it’s ok and I can teach and be pretty

And I don’t think I even smell 

And the earth has circled the sun

Once since we sat at the fancy pizza spot

And ate a celebration of your birth

And drank a celebration of your continuing 

And we fucked on an unfamiliar bed

Almost too tired to start it and surprised when it grew

The bike ride home is dissociative 

I pedal my heart flat into the pavement 

The pushing is euphoric and exhausting 

I am spinning like yarn in the spokes

Your betrayal and my rage

And your sweetness and my yearning

And I am sad for the ways I must obviously forget

Friday night and I’ve carved it out alone

A rest for my nerves 

All that’s left is laundry and a sorrowful attempt at self pleasure

A responsibility and a commitment 

Every day while the planets snarl 

In your sign