THE YEAR I BECAME A WOMAN (2)

the year i became a woman 
i needed everything just so

the year i became a woman 
all the people who were onto me 
came back 
i felt nothing, but told everyone to go 

going on into the year i became a woman 
i fooled myself, then felt the cumulation 
of the fooling

the year i became a woman
i was given an assignment
that pretended to be soft
to list all the transgressions
a pulse for moving on

i rearranged my bulletin board 
tacked a gold orb around myself
and looked to the cobalt glass dial 
of a dove and its peace 
askew 

the year i became a woman 
i felt the weight of useless breasts
in my hands, and the question
what is the night?

making out with yourself
waking, without yourself

life asked for its money back
the bricks of a good, sweet headache
dislodged

snake arms, i became a woman 

i went out to the back porch
to check on the sky