sleepwalking

nothing undone
but nothing cares
in these winding roads
undone

be not so fearful
your new hair
be not so fearful
your new star/e

to be relieved of glass,
of clothing
of this body
listen to your body

a lifetime of listening
to the sounds of 
your body and this
is where you are

twin brother 
sends a picture of
a hard-boiled egg
with two yolks

chest taped again
you feel better
even if there's a sadness
in what is not

missing the wiggle
of hips, the "feminine
wiles," the learned dance
and that excavated

there is no one real
a full figure, a fully
formed being, i miss
myself is the truth

miss knowing
miss flowing
miss glowing bright
miss holding court
miss being wanted
miss dancing with ease
miss not thinking so much
(about this) miss my long hair
miss my dresses hanging limp
or placed away, will they
ever be worn again

i know i know
focus on what is gained
new aspects resurrected
long gasping for breath
breathing
did you really expect
the banished son
not to return?

susannah sian
sean she/they/he
my name rings 
with yearning 
how many more steps
in this dance before
i get to
fall asleep