ORLANDO // ALTER EGO

im not the boy you think i am
havent you seen me skate

or spoon my ice cream

havent you seen my side ways strut

the bracelets ive been gifted by girls

who ask me to braid their hair

im not the girl you ask of me

still, a quiet flutter in my chest

like a gently palmed dragonfly

i know how to make a potion

mix wild berries with bottled water

plug it with twigs and pine needles

the boy i think i am is not home

he is shoeless on the neighbor's trampoline

he might get hurt, rough housing with those boys

he isnt twelve yet

but he knows someone with a black belt

knows someone who grew a mustache

the girl i think i am is preparing a meal

its all pretend, even the dolls are kind to each other

my mother walks by the room and her shadow

falls over me

i wear it like a funeral cape

dress my polly pocket, clasp on her heels

the boy i am sits alone

the girl i am is watching, love potion in hand

the boy is watching a caterpillar on his shoe

the girl is sitting alone

i think i am somehow there

showing myself the bug,

giving myself the potion.