hometown stream of consciousness

for some reason i can't sleep here, despite my mother heaping pillows on my bed

it rains a hundred days, the cold wants comfort but she's chilling me with her wet feet

so i get a runny nose, my nieces cough and giggle a fit, their tiny hands bless me 

there is a christmas program at the chapel, the pastor tells the children the Santa Lie

and they all return in tears, saying well, i guess i already knew, and their mothers

hide their hatred for the pious fuck, the revelation of a lie that binds the miracle

but it doesn't matter, nothing could stop this event, not the sickness, not the devil,

is he not real too?) and all evening we close out the cold but it still comes in like

string lights reflecting throughout the neighborhood. the day after christmas

my sister says she hoped for more music but the radio had gone right back to playing the hits.