dress excerpt

you were given a dress,
born with it, 
and the dress dictated
how you addressed yourself
because of what others saw
when they witnessed the dress
so the dress defined and informed
your own sense of self 
as much as others
it was habit, the habit of this dress
the costume and swoon, reliability
the dress had a definition, 
you didn't question deeply,
you were so staunchly squared
in the dress

when the dresses seams
started to burst because 
the spirit inside
didn't fit it
how to redress?
and when the dress is
(spoiler alert) 
your very body,
what do you do?
wait for it to fit again, anew?
continue to love the dress
because you do and have
attempt to relate to the dress
differently while keeping it on?
or, because you cannot shed 
the dress completely, make
dramatic alterations to better fit
the growing changing spirit
how exhausting to keep
adjusting the dress
can the dress be left be
even if ill-fitting,
it's still beautiful

if spirit screams
this is not it!
like a baby waiting
to be born, impatiently
how to experiment 
and rest-- one's skin
and psyche tired 
from all the attempts
to imbue dress with new thread
to match the insides better,
perhaps would align more fully
but the throat doesn't want to grow
in truth we want to stay home
in our old dress, we want to wear
what we know (call us old fashioned)
we want our home to stay our home
i mean yes the fabric would remain
the same, and updates could serve and free
but we risk losing something
we aren't ready to, the tedious line between
a fraying seam