"Damn. Where's your respect?

You could’ve used a little imagination.

Picked someone I didn’t know. Or at least,

a bitch more to my liking”

-Sandra Cisneros 

I keep picturing myself finding the two of you 

At some function together,

we’re outside on anonymous concrete and I walk up

To you red unhinged and ugly.

I point in your face and say something mean but forgiving.

And then I smack the plate of food out of her hands and tell her

She’s a fucking freak

A baby a nothing 

A piece of shit 

Stay the fuck out of my life. 

I’m seething and howling 

And it’s holy like angry women or wretched and false.

////

In a dream I find you and you’re sweet to me

I turn around and she’s lounging on the bed smiling

I climb on top of her and smack her face fast

She cocks her head to the side and says

The time you took me to the beach you talked so much I couldn’t even get a word in

I climb off her and say I’m sorry I need to work on that

And the shame crumbles inward like a vacuum